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  • Lindhardt Guldager posted an update 4 years, 2 months ago

    – I’m 50 % bright white, fifty percent Filipino, that’s what I am. (audience cheers) Which suggests my dad was in the armed forces. (viewers applauds and jokes) (laughs) That’s not actually a laugh. That’s genuine shit. (audience giggling) Plenty of soldiers had been battling for this particular land, my dad was online dating. (target audience giggling) I’m his Crimson Cardiovascular system. (viewers laughs) My dad would say borderline racist shit to me as i was really a kid. I realized he was joking, it’s my dad, though borderline racist shit. Just sittin’ in the dinner kitchen table, he was like, "undefinedYou already know why I wedded your mum, correct? " I was like, "Why? " ‘Cause I like Chinese meals. (market laughs) "She’s Filipino, Father." (viewers chuckling) "undefinedWhatever. (audience chuckling) "Rice is rice." (market giggling) Just what the fuck? Rice is rice. That’s so racist. There’s a method for you to inform Asians in addition to other Asians. It’s by their accent and simply if they have decorations. (target audience laughing) Of all the Asians, Koreans will be the quickest, ’cause when a Korean particular person discussions, they appear to be they’ve been smokin’ marijuana all day. (viewers laughing) Like just before they speak, just. (inhales sharply) (echoes in overseas words) (target audience chuckling) (speaks in international words) Koreans sound like Oriental ghosts. (speaks gibberish) (market laughing) My best friend being raised was Korean. I recall the very first time I traveled to his property, his dad yelled from upstairs. I thought the fuckin’ home was haunted. (market laughing) Swear to The lord, correct once i walked in. (speaking in unfamiliar vocabulary) (target audience joking) (talks gibberish) (audience giggling) Stated, "undefinedWhat the fuck was that? " (viewers chuckling) Ah, that’s my father, just wants to know if you’re starving. (target audience laughing) You can do by investing in any Asian. Vietnamese. (market laughing) What, I haven’t even completed nearly anything however. (audience joking) Vietnamese, I love Vietnamese men and women. You’re my– (viewers associate screams) I love you, you’re the littlest of your Asians. I will show you this, don’t fuck with Vietnamese men and women, even though (viewers chuckling) You’re smaller sized. They will likely overcome any individual. All those very little fuckers will fight, they don’t offer a shit. I don’t attention how powerful you happen to be, they will overcome you. They may run your decision and say shit. (blowing rapidly) (market chuckling) That’s their very little ft. (blowing rapidly) (audience giggling) I needed one operate around me at the end of the display, (blowing rapidly) "undefinedHi there guy, whatever you say for me like that, guy? " (viewers giggling) They chat true speedy, you already know they discuss that quickly. They chat like that guy. The things you say in my opinion like this (discussing in international terminology). (target audience giggling) They chat true speedy, like that, dude. (target audience laughing) Koreans sound like they’ve been smokin’ marijuana throughout the day, Vietnamese people sound like they’ve been doin’ cocaine their whole life. (target audience chuckling) (inhales sharply) "undefinedHi there dude, the reason why you say to me that way, guy? "Don’t you talk to me that way, dude. "What, you say in my opinion such as that? " (viewers joking) Vietnamese men and women put a period after every term that comes out. "undefinedHello guy the things you say in my opinion like that guy." (market chuckling) Vietnamese men and women go genuine great, they go actual substantial such as that, dude, now lower they start very low such as that guy they go real higher, like that, dude. (audience chuckling) Vietnamese men and women could be seen as they’re in a vehicle miles away and they also travel on your part real fast after they talk with ya. (viewers laughing) Hi there dude, everything you say if you ask me that way, dude, don’t you point out that. (market giggling) Gentleman, claim that shit once again, man. Get rid of the auto and state that shit. (target audience rooting and shouting) Japanese. What? (target audience screaming) Oh (laughs). (audience laughing) Japanese, only should they have decorations, you can tell us apart. Japanese, very distinctive. When Japanese gentleman talks, it will come from diaphragm. (audience chuckling) In this way, Japanese gentleman, huh. (target audience joking) Ha! Hai! Japanese. (viewers chuckling) Japanese woman, doesn’t issue if she’s 12 years of age, or 75 years old. They always noise 12 years. (discussing gibberish) (viewers giggling) Ok! (viewers joking) I give my ex no matter what fuck she would like. I saw that infant come out. Fuck. That. Shit. (market chuckling) And many you ladies need to be more graphical with these men that ain’t payin’ their children support. Allow ’em notice, quit bein’ great about it. Your little girl would like to consider ballet sessions and she needs footwear and some lessons. Your kid wants to play sports, he requirements cleats plus some products. Fuck that, be image. How come I want extra money? Because these little ones chiseled my pussy separate. (market chuckling) Chiseled. Chiseled. Ripped it. Sculpted. (viewers chuckling) (laughs) It doesn’t stay like this, it doesn’t stay. I don’t would love you to think it’s continues to be and chiseled like that. That’s the amazing issue regarding the vagina, it appears back together, it’s fuckin’– (market giggling) It’s like a Transformer. (viewers giggling) It’s like Pussimus Perfect. (audience chuckling) The BabyBots (sucking noise). Precisely what the fuck? (target audience laughing and clapping) (jokes) I found that baby appear, fuck that shit. The vagina is wonderful, not on that day. (market giggling) That day, it’s its evil two. (market chuckling) it’s not even the genitals, it’s referred to as va-gentleman-nah. (target audience joking) I am Va Person Nah. (market giggling) (echoes gibberish) Push, child. Oh yeah, happen, Va Person Nah. Press, oh yeah on this page arrives the baby. Oh, right here comes the baby. Oh yeah, infant. (target audience joking) My son’s mind was chilling out such as this. (viewers joking) And after that she coughed and the man went way back in. I used to be like, oh shit. (market giggling) The pussy chick ate the infant. (audience joking) I really appreciated my child heading, "undefinedDad." (target audience giggling) I don’t hide shit, I don’t candy-undefinedlayer shit. I allow my child know. I’m like Joe, I know whatever you performed within. (market joking) "undefinedExactly what are you talkin’ about, Dad? " I’m just sayin’, like I used to be 15, and so i know what you probably did inside. All the crazy shit you’re doin’, I have done as well. (market laughing) I had been just much better at it. (viewers chuckling) "undefinedJust what are you talkin’ about, Dad? " Joe, c’mon man, I realize what you, you have been from the shower room for a half-hour, gentleman. I realize the things you managed. (audience joking) "I didn’t a single thing, I simply had taken a shower." I’m like, Joe, you didn’t have a shower area. "undefinedCan you be sure I didn’t require a shower area, Dad? " Joe, you have been in there for 30 minutes, as well as your locks is free of moisture. (viewers chuckling) I got that you simply huge bottle of Brain & Shoulder blades, and it’s bare. (market chuckling) But you still need dandruff, I don’t (market laughter drowns out speaker). But your dick always odours like peppermint. (market laughing) mint, Mint and zinc originate from here. (audience chuckling) It’s Mind & Shoulder blades, Joe. Not Dick & Hands, that’s– (market laughter drown out presenter) I want every gentleman within this area to learn this tonight. You acquired caught through your mommy, as well. She caught your dumb ass. (target audience chuckling) She noticed it, that’s a produced female, she is aware of what her teenage kid is performing. She just never explained something to your dumb butt. (market chuckling) But she thought it was. Whichever it was you were abusing, she found it. (market joking) Just didn’t let you know about it, she was washing your living area, and she was like, "undefinedOh, i want to get that plate. "undefinedOh yeah, that’s not a dish. (viewers joking) "That’s a soft towel." (market joking) She didn’t say something to you. My mother explained somethin’ to me, ’cause that’s the type of fuckin’ mom I got. (market chuckling) Nevertheless I imagined I found myself bulletresistant and sock, wizard. Sock. Sock, limit and sock hinder. All few days, sock, sock and impede limit. Two a day limit, Fridays, sock and sock impede. (target audience chuckling) Then Sunday arrived all around, my mom went into my place. "undefinedCease fucking your stockings. (viewers chuckling) "undefinedHave you been kidding me at the moment? "undefinedYou desire me to clean up it? "Fuck you, Jo Koy. "That’s nauseating, I been organizing all your socks away, huh? (viewers chuckling) "undefinedYou have two pair of socks still left throughout the year. "You fuck all those, no longer stockings, Jo Koy. (
    funny jokes for kids with answers joking) "You gonna visit institution barefoot like this, huh? "undefinedThe primary will phone me, Joseph doesn’t possess any stockings. Since he helps to keep fucking them. "Yeah" (target audience giggling and rooting) (happy music)